In part one, I covered the three types of relationship you can have - codependent, independent and interdependent. I explained why interdependent is the only type that actually works, and why the other two will always end up falling apart. Check it out here.
Here in part two, I'll show you the difference between male and female psychology. You have to understand this before I can move on. The first two steps to having an awesome relationship are, 1. think interdependent and 2. understand the way your partner thinks.
In part three I'll cover some tips for how as a guy you can use this knowledge to get an awesome girlfriend, and make her happy.
In part four, I'll show how as a girl you can net a loving guy and keep him.
So, lets begin straight away with understanding how exactly men and women are different. This is going to be a big new frame of understanding for you, so I'll break it down into nice sections.
First of all, what I'm showing you here is not necessarily the difference between men and women, but between masculinity and femininity. You can be a masculine girl or a feminine guy.
About 80% of guys have a masculine essence.
Roughly 80% of girls have a feminine essence.
So this information will work really well for you most of the time.
20% of people have a balanced essence, and often seek out balanced partners who are neither really masculine or feminine.
How do you tell which type you are?
Simple test: Would you rather...
-The love of your life appears and sweeps you off your feet? Then you are feminine.
-You sweep the love of your life off their feet? Then you are masculine.
- If you have no preference at all, you are probably balanced.
So, now you know your type, I will explain how attraction works.
Sexual and romantic attraction comes from one thing - the tension between masculine and feminine energies.
That means that if you're very masculine, you will be most attracted to a feminine partner, and vice versa.
Once you're in a relationship, making it work is simple - all you have to do is get back in touch with whatever essence you have.
When you start behaving in a masculine or feminine way, your partner's attraction to you will shoot up. When you begin to treat them according to what essence they have, they will become far more attractive to you too. Careful - that might not mean what you think, so I'll expand on it in a bit.
Modern society has had recent movements, such as feminism, which have confused some people about their masculine or feminine essences.
Feminism is a very good movement when it is promoting equality between the sexes. Political equality and equal opportunity is very important.
But don't become confused here - the sexes are equal, but they are NOT THE SAME.
Women have become a little emasculated by being treated the same as men. Some men now feel that it's not okay to be masculine. A lot of relationships also fall apart because of this. Please understand - I'm saying that men and women should be treated with fairness and equality, but NOT AS IF THEY ARE THE SAME.
Some people also claim that 'masculine and feminine are just things we've made up'. They are absolutely not. If you disregard the masculinity/ femininity at your core, then you will encounter problems in your relationships and in your life.
The issue is partly that we live in a very masculine society, with a focus on goals and achievement and logic. Of course, women can also achieve great things. However, we must be careful not to say that certain feminine aspects - such as being warm, soft, homely, sensitive, caring and open - are 'bad.
What is masculinity/femininity?
In short, here is the summary of how masculine and feminine energies behave:
MASCULINE = order, logic, purpose, mission, goals, hardness, breaking through barriers, challenge, groundedness, direction, freedom in emptiness
FEMININE = chaos, emotion, love, connection, understanding, praise, softness, flowing energy, fullness in intimacy.
None of the above traits are good or bad. Masculinity and femininity are equal, but different.
Have you seen the yin-yang symbol? This is what it represents. The black and white sides are not the same, but they fit together to make a perfect circle.
Imagine trying to put two of the same sides of the yin-yang together, They wouldn't fit. This is why, in a relationship, one person must take the masculine, and the other the feminine role.
In modern society, 'softness' and 'chaos' might be considered bad.
'Order' and 'challenge' are thought to be very good.
Can you see that the masculine energy outweighs the feminine in our society? This is the imbalance that feminism is really trying to correct.
So that you can easily understand, I'll give you some examples of where you can see masculine and feminine essences working.
This is the key difference: Men think logically. Women think emotionally.
-Men go to the toilet by themselves. This is because logically, if they brought other guys along then it would just get in the way of them peeing.
- Women go to the bathroom together. This is because emotionally, it's a chance for them to communicate and relate to eachother.
- Men enter a room, and the first thing they look for - subconsciously - is entrances and exits. This is because logically, they may need to get out quickly if something happens.
-Women enter a room, and the first thing they look at is the faces of all the people. This is because emotionally, they are going to connect with these people.
-A man is confused when his wife is upset, he tells her everything she needs to do and she's still not happy. Logically, he doesn't understand why having given her a solution, she's not satisfied.
- The woman wasn't looking for a practical solution. She was looking for him to make her okay emotionally; to show her love or give her a hug.
In a relationship, the goal is to complete the ying-yang.
It sounds like hippy bullshit, but the meaning of that is very simple - by being masculine or feminine, your partner will help you to achieve what you really desire in life, and you will in turn give them what they need. You'll fit together nicely when you are being masculine or feminine.
I don't mean shallow needs. I don't mean that if your girlfriend wants shoes, your role as a man is to buy her shoes. If you want sex, then your woman isn't just there to give you sex.
I'm talking about deeper, more profound needs.
Freedom in emtpiness for the guy.
Fullness in the flow of love for the girl.
Freedom in emptiness is something a guy spends his whole life looking for. It's the moment when you've smashed through all challenge and opposition, and reached your final goal. For a moment your task is complete, you have no more work to do, and you are free in this empty few seconds of victory. Then, you'll go looking for another task to repeat the cycle.
Fullness in the flow of love is what as a woman you are really seeking. It's the moment when you are so deeply connected to someone, so intimate, that you have no resistance. You can be filled with joy and love, you can feel wanted and adored. It's like your body is acting as a channel for this amazing feeling of love.
This is why masculine people tend to watch sport or action movies. It's about smashing through the enemy to score a goal, achieve something.
This is why feminine people prefer a romance or drama. It's about people connecting, the changing emotions and the craziness of love.
So now you have a good knowledge of how your partner thinks, and how a relationship is a partner ship for fulfilling the masculine and feminine desires.
In the next part, I'm going to focus on how you guys can use this practically to get an awesome girlfriend, and make her happy.
And after that I'll zoom in on how the ladies can find a loving partner, and keep him.
Thanks for reading, drop a comment if you feel like it.