Wednesday, 6 April 2016

How to master your emotions

Whoever said men don't cry, had no idea what a real man is.

As a man, you absolutely must cry. As a woman, being in touch with and allowing your emotions to flow is more important than you can imagine.

As a maximised person, knowing how to properly experience and 'surf' emotion, is one of the keys to unlocking an unlimited life.
So what's the right way to approach your feelings?

When you attempt to reject or resist anything in life, you are going to suffer. The definition of suffering should be changed to 'resistance to life', because that's literally how all suffering is created. Pain, anger, and grief do not have to be suffered unless you are resisting them.
To put that simply - if you try to bottle up or reject the way you feel, you are going to feel even worse because you are going against the grain of your own life.

Feelings should also not be attempted to be controlled, any more than you try to control the weather. Especially as a woman but also as a man, you have a vast spectrum of different subtle emotions that you can be feeling at any one time.

And you have absolutely no control over what you are feeling.

So here is the practice of 'surfing how you feel'.

How does a person ride a wave? Because emotions, good ones and bad ones, come in waves. Imagine if the surfer attempted to surf into the wave instead of with it. They'd be thrown off their board and totally lost in the sea.

Many people, sadly, end up like this. It shows on their face in early wrinkles, maybe drug or alcohol addiction, or even something more subtle like a constant sense of being lost and dissatisfied.

The right way to approach  your feelings is as a surfer rides out a wave. The wave won't last forever. Realise that however you are feeling now, it won't last forever.

Your brain is not capable of keeping just one emotion permanently. This means that no matter how bad you feel, no matter how beaten down our grief-stricken, life will ALWAYS and without exception swoop up to more good times. Tell yourself, ' this too shall pass'. Life is a journey of ups and downs. New waves might form, but they're always going to fizzle out on the beach.

A maximised person accepts the way they feel, and rides it out. Because they know that however big or scary the wave, if they just go with it it will carry them back to the beach.

So keep in touch with your feelings and accept and roll with them. Never reject or resist them, because you'll fall off your board and find yourself suffering. You cannot be the controller of your emotions, but you can master them by learning to accept them exactly as they are, and riding them through to their conclusions. Good luck!

Creds to Freya Winterson for suggesting the topic for this article. Thanks for your feedback Freya.

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